Losing Control: A cuckold angst story Read online

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  About the Author.

  The author has been willingly cuckolded by partners in the past and knows firsthand the angst and emotional turmoil which accompanies this. It is this emotive aspect of cuckolding which fascinates the author; the compulsion to give up your own desires and pleasures for someone else’s. This deep need for denial and sexual exclusion is an aspect which extends far beyond the mere act of infidelity.

  Watching, waiting or hearing your partner fucking someone else soon ends.

  The knowing they have done so remains forever.

  Other cuckold titles available on Amazon:

  Losing Control

  An Unexpected Ex

  Jason

  I stood at the front door and watched as the car pulled out of the drive. Even after the events of the previous few weeks I was completely unprepared for the effect that this moment would have on me. Okay sure, it was all my idea in the first place, or rather, the initial idea was mine but I don’t think I ever imagined that it would go this far.

  Our driveway is long and as the car backed up towards the main road I had plenty of time to observe the two occupants. The driver was a man in his mid-thirties, tall with thick brown hair and, although not overly muscled, in obvious good physical shape. In the passenger seat was a petite brunette woman with her head twisted to the side to look at the man as she laughed at something he had said. He white teeth flashed against her tanned skin and my chest tightened at how beautiful she looked.

  The car turned, straightened and slowly disappeared down the road out of my sight.

  Neither of people inside it looked back at me.

  I stood there for a long time, just staring in the direction they had gone. I slowly became aware that, although it was a warm day, I was shaking as if from cold. I also became aware that the muscles in my left arm were knotted and sore and, with an effort of will, I relaxed them so I could open my hand which was grasped tight around the soft package in my fist. Opening my fingers allowed the material to puff up slightly. I could feel the dampness of the material and smell a familiar musky odour. I simply stared for a long while at the small scrap of fabric while my mind struggled to process all that it represented.

  With a heartfelt sigh I went back inside the house and made my way into our bedroom. I stood for a while, still shaking slightly, before, with exaggerated care, spreading the piece of fabric out on the duvet. I took my time ensuring that every wrinkle and fold was smoothed out. Finally satisfied I stood back and stared at the flimsy black material, stark against the white of the bedding.

  My name is Jason. The woman in the car is my wife, Bea, the man beside her is her lover, and the material on our bed was her panties.

  Perhaps we should start from the beginning…

  Bea

  My husband first admitted his cuckold desires after we’d been married for almost ten years. To his credit he did it very well with, I realized later, years of laying the ground work. We’ve always used toys in bed as Jason has a small cock, about 5 inches, and I enjoy the feeling of being stretched by something bigger. For me the toys were just that, toys, but it was Jason who gave my vibrator a name and built a game around how it was another man’s cock.

  Jason’s quite submissive in bed which suits me fine as I like to take control of sex. We both always enjoyed watching porn and in retrospect I can see how Jason changed the films we watched so they mostly featured a cuckold theme. We would often fuck while watching them and then Jason would go down on me while I continued to watch. Jason is the only guy I have been with who enjoys eating his cum out of me and I don’t mind as he tends to bring me to orgasm that way which is something he often fails to do with his cock alone. We also look at porn on the internet and Jason increasingly headed me towards the types of sites featuring hotwives and cuckolds. I could tell that he was interested in this kink but didn’t realize just how seriously until he eventually admitted he wanted me to cuckold him.

  Fantasy play was one thing but the reality was another and it took a lot of convincing on Jason’s part to make me realize that he was completely serious about this. We discussed the pros and cons (I admit that I was mostly cons while Jason was all pros) and in the meantime continued with our fantasy play; although this had taken a more serious turn now I knew what Jason was really thinking.

  The turning point for me came when Jason went away on business for a week. I spent every night on the computer, looking at cuckold sites trying to understand what it was all about. After a few days I found I was getting quite excited about the idea of taking a lover and would find myself getting wet at work thinking about it. I masturbated several nights to cuckold images and stories and by the time Jason got back I was desperate for a seeing to. As soon as he was in the door I had him on the bed and his cock inside me. After seeing all the big cocks on the net and fantasizing about them I felt a bit disappointed with Jason’s little one and that was the thing that finally made up my mind. I wanted some of what those other women were getting. As we lay on the bed I told Jason about how I had spent my week and said that if he still wanted to then I was interested in doing it for real. Jason’s answer was to climb between my legs again and fuck me as hard as he could, which sadly was not as hard as I would have liked.

  We spent the next six months exploring the cuckold lifestyle in more depth and seriously discussing the pitfalls. We both knew that however much he fantasized about wanting me to have a lover the reality of seeing me with another man could be very hard for Jason and we didn’t want to lose our marriage over a bit of fun. At the same time I started to look around for a potential lover. This proved harder than I thought it would. I went on several dates with men but they never worked out. Nonetheless it was very exciting to go out with other men and it was a good test of our commitment to the cuckold lifestyle. Jason really enjoyed watching me getting ready to go out and knowing that he was turned on made me more so. We had a couple of false starts where Jason was so excited that he masturbated as soon as I left and then fell apart thinking of me off with another man. This caused a few problems until I took a more dominant role and forbade him from playing with himself while I was out.

  Jason

  I couldn’t believe how quickly Bea embraced the idea of cuckolding. She’s always taken the lead in bed and during sex her pleasure has always come first before, and sometimes to the exclusion of, mine. Somehow for both of us cuckolding just seemed a natural extension of this.

  It’s hard to describe the excitement I felt once Bea started to talk honestly and openly about her growing desire to have another man fuck her. Watching porn together was enhanced by her comments like ‘That guy’s got exactly the type of cock I want’ when looking at some thick hung guy or ‘I bet you’d love it if that was me’ while we watched some girl being pounded hard by a fit stud. Hearing her talk this way inflamed me not just at the time but for days afterwards as I replayed her words in my mind. Imagining her actually following through with the fantasy talk made me lust after her in a way I hadn’t in years. I couldn’t get enough of her and it seemed like we fucked every night during this period.

  Despite Bea’s new honestly I never found out about her first real date until after it had happened. In reality it wasn’t much of a date, Bea simply went for drinks after work with a friend of a friend and ended up deciding that he wasn’t her type. But it was our first step in involving a third party in our fantasy play and created a lot of open discussion b
etween us about what might have happened if Bea had decided she liked him enough to take things further.

  Her next date was different in that I knew about it before hand and so got to experience my first true cuckold angst as I watched her getting ready to go out. This was something I had fantasied about for years and the reality of watching her bathe, dress and make herself look beautiful for another man was everything I could have hoped for. Bea never dressed slutty for her dates, favouring instead the same sort of smart casual clothes she’d wear to work. For me it wouldn’t have mattered if she’d worn suspenders and stockings or a burlap sack, the fact that she was dressing exclusively for the pleasure of someone else was enough to have my heart beating like a drum with excitement.

  In fact my excitement levels almost blew the whole thing for both of us as I was so horny that I couldn’t stop myself wanking as soon as Bea left. That wasn’t too bad as I’d soon get horny again but then I’d wank again and as soon as I came all of the good feelings would instantly disappear. In the place of my lustful fantasy imaginings I would feel nothing but panic, fear and enormous jealously. A couple of times I called Bea and begged her to come back, that I had changed my mind. She was sympathetic the first time but after that was more annoyed than anything. I eventually pushed my luck to the point where she gave me an ultimatum; we could either stop right now or never mention cuckolding again, or I could learn to keep my hand off my cock. After all, she pointed out; this was supposed to be all about her fun, not mine.

  In truth I continued to play with myself but, although I found it incredibly difficult, I never allowed myself to cum again while Bea was out. The combination of keeping myself edged and wondering what my wife was doing ensured that I stayed hot, hard and horny until her return.

  Even though at this point Bea never went further than some light petting I nonetheless couldn’t keep my hands off her when she came back to tell me of her adventures. Occasionally there would be some physical evidence of her infidelity; smudged lipstick, rumpled clothes and even, once a beautiful love bite on her neck (I couldn’t resist putting my own lips over the mark and sucking it some more while visualizing how another man had just been doing the same only hours before). Every time she returned from a date I couldn’t wait to ravish her and she’d barely be in the door before I was stripping her out of her clothes. Bea didn’t seem to mind and her pussy was always wet and eager for my cock (the fact that she was probably already wet from the action with her date only made it all the sweeter). It was the best sex I can ever remember having and Bea seemed to find it equally thrilling although, to be honest, between a night spent edging myself followed by hearing Bea’s tales, I often didn’t last long before erupting deep inside her.

  I never pushed Bea to take things further with the men she dated, not because I didn’t want her to but because I was sure that it would only be a matter of time before she met someone she clicked with and decided to go all the way. The idea both thrilled and terrified me.

  Bea

  I didn’t find anyone I really connected with and most of my dates resulted in nothing more than some kissing and maybe a little groping but we both got very excited when I would come home and tell Jason about it. One date left a love bite on my neck and it drove Jason wild when he found it. Our sex life was better than ever but now I’d come this far I was determined to feel another man inside me and continued to hunt for the right man.

  One date seemed very promising and after dinner we parked up and got very frisky together. It wasn’t long before he had my top open and my breasts pushed out of my bra. I could feel my pussy gush as he took my nipple in his mouth and sucked it to hardness. I was wearing a skirt and could feel his hand sliding up my inner thigh towards my soaking panties. I moaned with pleasure and desperately wanted to feel his fingers on my cunt but instead I pushed his hand away and closed my legs. I was so hot I could have fucked him there and then but strangely it felt too much like cheating; although I think if I’d let him get his hand to my pussy I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself.

  He started to protest but I stopped his complaints by reaching over and unbuckling his pants. I had already seen the bulge in his pants and it was obvious he was packing something good. I pushed him back on the seat so I could slide his pants down and felt a shiver of excitement as his cock sprung free. He had one of those cocks with prominent veins which are not my favourite type, but it was long and thick with a nice swollen head poking through his partly retracted foreskin. He sighed in contentment as I wrapped my hand around his member and started to slowly stroke him. He pulled my face to his for a kiss but I was more interested in watching what I was doing and cut it short so I could admire the way his foreskin wrapped on and off his fat cockhead as I stroked.

  I’d only intended to give him a hand job but the feeling of his large cock under my hand was simply too exciting and when a drip of pre-cum appeared I couldn’t resist bending down to lick it off. From there it was only a small step to engulf his whole head in my mouth and slide my lips down his shaft. I love giving head but with Jason’s cock it often just doesn’t seem worthwhile and I really loved the feel of a big cock in my mouth for the first time in years. I’d have liked to have spent longer simply enjoying playing with his cock but it soon became evident that he was quickly nearing the edge. I contemplated letting him shoot in my mouth, god knows the thought of it made my pussy gush again, but I didn’t feel ready for that so instead removed my mouth and increased the speed of my hand until he gave a great groan and spunk exploded in streams across his chest and shirt.

  I was so turned on watching him cum that if he’d tried it on again I almost certainly would’ve let him fuck me. Instead he got quite flustered and, dressing quickly, took me home. I was still horny and felt a bit peeved that we hadn’t even so much as kissed afterwards but at the same time was filled with a great feeling of satisfaction, as though, by wanking off a stranger I had crossed some invisible line.

  I never told Jason the full truth about how far I went that night (although I did ride him raw when I got home). It was my first encounter with another man’s cock and for some reason I wanted to keep that just for myself. In a way I think I was testing myself to see how I’d react once I’d taken the first really serious step towards cucking my husband. I was pleased to find that I had very few feelings of guilt and absolutely none of regret. If anything my encounter convinced me more than ever that cuckolding Jason was something I wanted as well. I almost certainly would have fucked that man on our next date but before we went out again he called and confessed that he was married and was worried that his wife would find out. I was disappointed but figured it was his loss and felt smugly pleased that I was free to ‘cheat’ on my husband without that sort of complication.

  After that things went quiet on the dating front for a while. I continued to look for a proper lover and, eventually to my surprise, found the ideal man almost right under my nose.

  Jason

  No matter how often you fantasize about it happening it’s a hell of a thing when your wife actually tells you she’s found the man she’s going to fuck instead of you. A hell of a thing.

  Bea

  I work out at the gym in the evenings a couple of times a week and had become friendly with a guy called Steve who used to come at the same times as me. I’d always thought Steve was cute and he certainly had a nice body but I’d never put two and two together until it came to me in a flash one day while I was watching him work out. I had snuck glances at his body previously but now I watched him closely and decided that I liked what I saw a lot. He was toned but not overly muscled, had good legs and exactly the sort of tight bum I could just imagine myself sinking my teeth into...

  He also appeared to have a good sized bulge in his pants and I found myself getting quite wet thinking about what he would be like in bed. Steve knew I was married and so he was a bit surprised when after striking up a conversation I screwed up my courage and asked if he wanted to go for a drink. Fro
m the way I was coming on to him I’m sure Steve knew there was potentially more than a drink on offer but he accepted anyway. And why wouldn’t he? After all, I was the married one, not him (I’d checked first, I didn’t want to get caught out and left with a wet and neglected pussy twice).

  We went to a nearby bistro, ordered some snacks and drinks and found, to my delight, that we got on really well. Not only was Steve cute but he was educated, well-travelled and had a wicked sense of humour. Importantly he also seemed to find me fascinating. I had to chuckle to myself at the irony of all the nights I’d gotten dolled up to go on dates and the guy who seemed the most into me was the one who’d only ever seen me in sweaty gym gear.

  After a bottle of wine I excused myself and called Jason. I told him I was on a date and would be home late then hung up before he could ask for any details. Steve and I had another bottle and were flirting heavily by the end. Eventually Steve asked about my husband and I knew it was time to come clean. I explained the situation as best I could and although a bit taken aback Steve didn’t seem completely turned off by the idea of fucking me in front of my husband. I had to reassure him that Jason only wanted to watch and wouldn’t want to touch him in any way; in fact he wouldn’t even get to touch me! Steve agreed to think about it and we went our separate ways.

  When I got home I told Jason that I thought we were onto a starter and then had to relate every detail of what we had said to each other to him.

  Jason

  It’s hard to explain just how excited I was to hear Bea tell me about Steve. He seemed everything that I’d fantasied about in her lover, tall, strong and, if she was to be believed, possessed of a cock that would put mine to shame. It was obvious from the way Bea talked about Steve that she was really smitten by him. She was almost glowing with excitement and had a sparkle in her eye that neither I nor any of her other dates had been able to put there.